Oscar, the cat with a pair of prosthetic paws
Ducks becoming cops?
1. “I was coming home from kindergarten–well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.” How old were you when you started working and what was your first job? Wait…I don’t get the kindergarten thing. Aren’t there labor laws?
I baby sat and then when I was 15 I (may have) stretched the truth and got a job at a clothes store at the mall.
2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” Tell us about your grandparents. Um…they’re dead and I never met them.
3. “Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution. So procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” Do you procrastinate or are you on top of the situations? Well, my house is still sanding and we are all alive.
4. “Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.” What would others say about you?
Gosh, I don’t know…ask the boyz.
5. “The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble” Do you believe in life on other planets? Sometimes I wonder if there is life on this planet…..
6. “I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.” Do you have a godchild? I hope not cause I don’t know of any.
7. “I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.’” When was the last time that you were called too thin? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…..
8. “I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me – they’re just, like, ‘I can’t believe you don’t remember me!” I’m like, ‘Oh Dad I’m sorry!’” Who was the last person that you should have recognized but didn’t? Myself when I ate that huge bacon cheese burger for lunch.
9. “I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” Do you work out? Have you ever joined a gym and quit almost immediately? I have a home gym and I run daily.
10. ‘We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent.” Do you feel that you utilize all your intelligence in every situation? I strive to but, I survived the 70′s ya know….