1. Use the word party as a verb.
3. Body shots.
4. Jell-O shots. Especially Jell-O shots.
5. Read a book with the words Zen and the Art of in the title.
6. Do impressions of Austin Powers characters, especially Dr. Evil.
7. Help friends move.
8. Ask friends to help you move.
9. Crash on a friend’s floor or couch.
10. Refer to breasts as “chesticles.”
11. Experiment with facial hair.
12. Let your underpants show above your jeans or below your shorts.
13. Apply paint to your face for any reason at all.
14. Own beer-drinking paraphernalia.
15. Own a skull bong.
16. Know the names of the current Real World cast.
17. Remove your shirt in public?unless there is sand and a large body of water nearby.
18. Use the word dude, except when referring to a ranch or a well-dressed Englishman.
19. Use the word dawg in a sentence when referring to a friend or, worse, yourself.
20. Own a futon.
21. Own a beanbag chair.
22. Hang art framelessly.
23. Hang tapestries.
24. Drink malternative beverages.
25. Don a puka-bead necklace.
26. Google ex-girlfriends.
27. Break up with a girlfriend by e-mail.
28. Engage in pranks involving airborne food.
29. Own a Lava lamp.
30. Pool hop.
31. Live with someone you don’t sleep with.
32. Share a hotel room with someone you don’t sleep with.
33. Play fantasy sports.
34. Divide a restaurant bill with a friend in any way other than 50-50.
35. Sleep past 10:30.
36. Refer to a woman’s genitalia as her “nappy dugout.”
37. Cook exclusively on a George Foreman grill.
38. Wear a jersey with the name of a professional athlete on the back.
39. Employ any other pickup line besides “Hi, my name is _____. What’s yours?”
40. Listen to Pink Floyd.
41. Use Internet acronyms, especially ROFL and LOL.
42. Shave any part of your body except your face.
43. Enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies.
44. Run with the bulls in Pamplona.
45. Attend Mardi Gras, Carnaval, or Burning Man.
46. Own a fish tank.
47. Fall asleep in public.
48. Call drugs by their street names (e.g., junk, smack, or whitebag).
49. Pick a fistfight by thrusting out your neck, flexing, and screaming, “It’s go time!”
This article first appeared in the September 2002 issue of Esquire Magazine
Yes indeed, we had so much fun with this last year (both times ) that we are running it again!
Welcome to Monday Mayhem, the coolest place to be on a Monday.
2. That lady on the top of this page.
5. Probably anything over-done by choral groups looking for self satisfaction or moolah. bah
12. I’ve been kind of blase about it just because I’ve been p.o.’d about the weather all month. I’m starting to enjoy it all now. Even put up a tree a few days ago.
16. If tree-
20. Nah. I take things one day at a time.
Thanks for playing!